Adios

No, I am not saying goodbye to quilting. Adios, the literal translation being "to God" is the philosophy that I have adopted with regard to parting with my quilts. Somber topic, but wait, there's more. I had a dream last night about my dad and a bunch of UFOs (unfinished objects). To understand how these tie together, I should esplain you Lucy.

A few years ago, I decided to make my dad a quilt for his bed. He was living far away at the time and I thought he needed a reminder that we love him. He seemed pleased enough with it and I was happy that he had a physical reminder of us. Fast forward a few years. I have never seen that quilt again. I've thought about asking, but am afraid of the answer. If he doesn't have it anymore, my feelings will be terribly hurt. By not asking, I am making myself practice Adios, or letting go.

In my early quilting years, I gave my quilts to anyone who wanted one. People I barely knew scored hours of my painstaking labor. This was before I had The Wee One, before I knew the difference between cheap and nice fabric, and the joy of sewing on a really nice machine. In other words, it was just a little hobby. I wasn't even taking photos of my quilts at that point. As my hobby grew more consuming (of time, money, etc), I started to get a little pickier about the recipients of my quilts. The projects became personal, each taking on a life of its own during the process. I realized that the recipients could hardly be expected to ever be fully aware of the time, effort, money and love that gets poured into each quilt. If I was going to give a quilt, I had to give it freely, without any expectation of true appreciation. I have to let it go with God.

So back to my dream. It was very vivid. I was walking thought my dad's house (not his current one, but somehow I knew where I was) and I came across a chair piled high with what looked like blankets. As I started digging through the pile, I realized I was looking for the quilt I made him. But every blanket in the pile was actually an unfinished quilt and I never found his quilt before I woke up.

I'm not a dream interpreter and tend toward the most literal interpretation when I attempt. I currently have a number of projects going on in various states of completion depending on fabric orders. This could explain the pile of UFOs. I didn't realize I was feeling anxious about this, but some of them are gifts, so that could be the case I suppose. The part about my dad suggests that I am not as zen with my Adios as I would smugly lead you to believe. I guess it is a work in progress.

Thanks for indulging my mental meandering. I have been sewing and loving my current projects. Will have pictures next time.


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